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Four Sleeps and Counting...

My impending visit to Canberra this weekend has gotten all my body image issues well and truly in the front of my mind.

All those common phrases are going through my mind. I'm sure you all know the ones, "I'm fat", "I'm ugly", "He's not going to like me", "He's going to be disgusted by me", etc, etc, etc. It doesn't help in the fact that I know I actually have put on weight since I last saw him. August and September seemed to be party central for me so I ate more than I normally would, and then the last 6 weeks or so I haven't been exercising as much as I normally do due to a combination of allergies, a cold and my back playing up worse than normal.

Ugh!

I know I don't have a hope in hell of trimming up before Friday (though that doesn't mean that I'm not going to try anyway), so I've set my goal to be mid-February instead. Two of my friends have their birthdays within a week of each other (February 21 and 28), and since next year they both turn 30, they have decided to have a week and a half long party on the Gold Coast. The weekend after that is Mardi Gras in Sydney. As a result I want to be looking my best for the week and a half on the beach and the weekend of the parade.

I think I can do it to, as I think I've managed to wrap my brain around things properly this time.

Anyway, for this weekend, flights are booked, hotel is booked and rental car is booked. I don't think I'll be spending the entire weekend in the hotel room (we need to pop out to eat at the very least), so are any of the Canberran people wanting to catch up over the weekend?

Comments

( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
fred_bear
Nov. 5th, 2007 05:20 am (UTC)
We should catch up (I'm bad at replying to comments). There's a brunch on every week at the new Turkish place in Page that Liz, Mike(y) and various other's that you know go to. From 10:30am.

As for your other issue, it's something I relate to and struggle with terribly. Even in the face of evidence to the contrary I'll think things like, "well, there are so many other slender women with better bodies than me, that my partner's been with before, so why should he be interested in me? I'm fat and have squishy bits " Bah! And Grr! to thoughts like that. It's a tough thing to try and get over, but you're determined so you will.

*hugs*
fred_bear
Nov. 5th, 2007 05:21 am (UTC)
*sigh* the Brunch is on Sunday. Helps if you know information like that! :)
halloranelder
Nov. 5th, 2007 06:32 am (UTC)
Cool.

Check out from the hotel is 10:00, so that sounds like a very good idea. Give me the address and I'll add it to my calendar.

As for the other stuff, I know it's a load of guff, but that doesn't stop my brain from coming up with it anyway. It's so frustrating having to deal with it so often. As I said, it's worse this time because I know I have put on weight, which makes it so much harder to ignore.

Anyway, I think you've got very attractive squishy bits. :)

Ps - Important question: milk or dark chocolate?
fred_bear
Nov. 5th, 2007 06:56 am (UTC)
alrighty, it's at the Page Shops which are on Petterd st. Don't know the actual street number but if you know it's at the Page shops you'll be able to find it.

Yeah, isn't it great how emotion flies in the face of logic? I doubt anyone would even notice you'd put on any weight at all unless you told them and tried to point to exactly where. Don't do that! :)

Thank you! :)

Oooh, tough question, but dark I think. :)
weaselfetish
Nov. 5th, 2007 10:09 pm (UTC)
Go to this brunch!
The food is fantastic and the company will be better.
(Deleted comment)
halloranelder
Nov. 5th, 2007 06:32 am (UTC)
Agreed. I think she has very attractive squishy bits.
fred_bear
Nov. 5th, 2007 06:57 am (UTC)
:) Yay indeed! (well, most of the time ;)
paradigmshifty
Nov. 5th, 2007 06:46 am (UTC)
As I've said before, I think you're stunning. Knock-down, drop-dead gorgeous.

Random, you're not too bad yourself, for a boy :-)
fred_bear
Nov. 5th, 2007 06:59 am (UTC)
Thank you very much kind sir. :) As I said to Random, it's amazing how you can have all this evidence staked up before you but some days still choose not to believe it. I guess it's easier to focus on the negative about ourselves rather than the positive.
halloranelder
Nov. 5th, 2007 09:52 am (UTC)
Lack of confidence is the major problem.

It took me a hell of a long time before I got any confidence in my own self. Makes things a hell of a lot easier in life in that you understand that you can, rather than think everything is you can't.

*hugs*
fred_bear
Nov. 5th, 2007 10:31 pm (UTC)
Yes, it does indeed. I'm getting there but I'm not sure if the journey ever really ends. :)

*hugs*
weaselfetish
Nov. 5th, 2007 10:12 pm (UTC)
Squish bits aside you al so have style, grace, patience and the kind of smile that lights up a room when you enter it.
Look after the Random and don't let him die fron happy. ;)
fred_bear
Nov. 5th, 2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you! *hugs* It's just sometimes hard to let that knowledge (which I'm still trying to get used to) overcome the knowledge of the squish and spare tyre.

I'll try not to let him die of the happy (notice how I refrained from making any 'little death' jokes at all!)
halloranelder
Nov. 5th, 2007 09:46 am (UTC)
Thank you kind sir.

Now, what have you done with the real Stephen, and how much will it cost to make it permanent? :)
paradigmshifty
Nov. 5th, 2007 09:52 am (UTC)
You can't afford me :-)

Jenny, on the other hand... ;-p
fred_bear
Nov. 5th, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
Heh. :)
paradigmshifty
Nov. 5th, 2007 10:30 pm (UTC)
I should be so lucky :-)
psuedonym777
Nov. 5th, 2007 06:12 am (UTC)
hehehe. You're so cute when you're crushing. :oP
halloranelder
Nov. 5th, 2007 09:45 am (UTC)
Watch it you! I know where you live.
psuedonym777
Nov. 5th, 2007 10:06 am (UTC)
:oP Karma my dear Random. You reap what you sew.... *grin*
greenglowgrrl
Nov. 5th, 2007 06:29 am (UTC)
*hugs*

Some people get those thoughts so bad it stops them even getting close to people. I'm glad you're not letting that happen to you. Have a great time in Canberra!

halloranelder
Nov. 5th, 2007 09:57 am (UTC)
Thanks.

All the wonderful people down here who like me in spite of everything I do can take a hell of a lot of the credit.

*hugs*
ethanthescribe
Nov. 11th, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)
I've been wondering for a while who this halloranelder was, and now I've worked it out...

Hi, hope you enjoyed the party last night, hope you come to Canberra more often.

Robbie (aka Stephanie's Dad...)
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )

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Desert Rose

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

I dream of fire
Those dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
Her shadows play in the shape of a man's desire

This desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this

And as she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothing's as it seems

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to empty skies above
I close my eyes
This rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of her love

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

Sweet desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this

Sweet desert rose
This memory of Eden haunts us all
This desert flower
This rare perfume, is the sweet intoxication of the fall

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