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Score one for the coward

I am a social coward, I know this.

I am horrible at meeting new people if I don't already have some form of "bridge" in place. That bridge could be talking with them with someone I already know and am comfortable with, or a controlled environment like a roleplaying game that I am running, something like that. I have some form of control or escape route, or whatever.

I think a large part of it stems from the fact I have a rather huge phobia of embarrassment. The concept of making a fool of myself in public is the most terrifying thing I can think off.

So, meeting new people is not something I am good at, under normal circumstances. It took me a week to ring back the young man I'd been chasing (see here and here) (I was just making sure I was serious about him, honest, no cowardice involved, nothing to see here, move along).

I meant to ring him yesterday as I had just gotten back from holidays, but I ended up forgetting due to being too busy (I was in Sydney for work today, so a fair few things to sort out last night and then early to bed), so was going to do it tonight.

I wander back into my bedroom to grab my mobile (it's actually cheaper to ring people from my mobile than from the land line. I can remember when it used to be the other way around. Does that make me old?) and notice a missed call.

I check the message and deal with that (some gaming stuff to deal with) and then am sitting in my room with my mobile in my hand. I have about 8 minutes until my dinner is ready (the timer was sitting on the bed next to me, so I wouldn't miss it) and unless it's a really short phone call, it's probably not going to be long enough.

So I scroll through my address book and ring him anyway. As the phone is ringing there's a voice in the back of my head saying "don't pick up, don't pick up", so of course he picks up and we chat. When the timer goes off, I wander into the kitchen, pull my dinner out of the oven (oven baked fish fillets with lemon and cracked pepper sauce, yum!), serve it and eat, while still chatting.

Eventual length of conversation: 34 minutes. Go me!

I can do this. :)

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Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
paxford
Mar. 5th, 2008 10:40 am (UTC)
Very much go you! - I have the same phobia and I know just how much courage it can take.

Hope he proves a keeper ;-)
paradigmshifty
Mar. 5th, 2008 11:06 am (UTC)
Of course, there's also the fear of your friends conspiring to embarrass you.

Or didn't you have that one?

;->
halloranelder
Mar. 5th, 2008 11:24 am (UTC)
I'll be serious about this one.

If any of my friends did this, I would tell them never to do it again, and why. If they already knew, I would probably disown them and never talk to them again.

The fear is strong enough that this is one area I won't joke about.
kashiichan
Mar. 5th, 2008 11:12 am (UTC)
Well done, darling, I'm proud. :)
nicked_metal
Mar. 5th, 2008 12:16 pm (UTC)
Being scared doesn't make you a coward. Being scared and doing something that you're scared of (which you did) makes you brave. Go you, and well done :D
weaselfetish
Mar. 5th, 2008 08:21 pm (UTC)
We all know that fear in some form or another.
You still agve it a shot even though you were scared.
Go You!
fred_bear
Mar. 5th, 2008 08:48 pm (UTC)
Go you indeed! Not a coward, just human my love. :)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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Desert Rose

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

I dream of fire
Those dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
Her shadows play in the shape of a man's desire

This desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this

And as she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothing's as it seems

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to empty skies above
I close my eyes
This rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of her love

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

Sweet desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this

Sweet desert rose
This memory of Eden haunts us all
This desert flower
This rare perfume, is the sweet intoxication of the fall

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