Random (halloranelder) wrote,
Random
halloranelder

Score one for the coward

I am a social coward, I know this.

I am horrible at meeting new people if I don't already have some form of "bridge" in place. That bridge could be talking with them with someone I already know and am comfortable with, or a controlled environment like a roleplaying game that I am running, something like that. I have some form of control or escape route, or whatever.

I think a large part of it stems from the fact I have a rather huge phobia of embarrassment. The concept of making a fool of myself in public is the most terrifying thing I can think off.

So, meeting new people is not something I am good at, under normal circumstances. It took me a week to ring back the young man I'd been chasing (see here and here) (I was just making sure I was serious about him, honest, no cowardice involved, nothing to see here, move along).

I meant to ring him yesterday as I had just gotten back from holidays, but I ended up forgetting due to being too busy (I was in Sydney for work today, so a fair few things to sort out last night and then early to bed), so was going to do it tonight.

I wander back into my bedroom to grab my mobile (it's actually cheaper to ring people from my mobile than from the land line. I can remember when it used to be the other way around. Does that make me old?) and notice a missed call.

I check the message and deal with that (some gaming stuff to deal with) and then am sitting in my room with my mobile in my hand. I have about 8 minutes until my dinner is ready (the timer was sitting on the bed next to me, so I wouldn't miss it) and unless it's a really short phone call, it's probably not going to be long enough.

So I scroll through my address book and ring him anyway. As the phone is ringing there's a voice in the back of my head saying "don't pick up, don't pick up", so of course he picks up and we chat. When the timer goes off, I wander into the kitchen, pull my dinner out of the oven (oven baked fish fillets with lemon and cracked pepper sauce, yum!), serve it and eat, while still chatting.

Eventual length of conversation: 34 minutes. Go me!

I can do this. :)
Tags: boy
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