Two weeks ago (Monday the 19th) I went to ring someone after work, and discovered my home phone wasn't working. No ring tone, no nothing. I didn't get around to ringing Telstra to get them to fix it until the Friday (23rd). Ringing them and letting them know involves remembering while I'm at work (it's a bit hard to ring someone on the phone to tell them the phone isn't working!).
I talk to them, they say that there seems to be a problem, so they'll get someone to fix it. In the mean time they set the home number to divert to my mobile. Due to me calling late on a Friday (first time I actually remembered while at work) I am told it may not be fixed until close-of-business Monday.
Not really a problem. I don't tend to use the home phone all that much so not really an issue. Telemarketers use it more than me.
I don't worry about it, and time passes.
I go to use the phone late last week, and it's still not working. What?
Again, I tend not to remember the phone while I'm at work (because their phones work, so why would I remember).
We get to the weekend, and Aaron (gene_machine) comes over as he threatened, and rearranges my phones!
The way the phones in my house are arranged is weird. There are three phone sockets in the bedrooms, one each. They are each close to a power point, but not useful for a communal area phone. The other phone socket is in the "dining room" (you'd understand if you'd ever seen my place), no where near a power point, and not really in an area that suits having a phone connected to it.
And then the Foxtel Digital people came in and had to connect the main Foxtel box to a phone line (don't ask, old technology), so they connected to one of the bedroom phone points, and ran a line inside the house from one side to the other, so they could put a phone connected near the Foxtel box. This line ran from the point in the middle bedroom (on the east wall of the house) along the skirting board of the room, up the wall near the door way, out near the ventilation window thing (can't remember what it's called) above the door, further up the wall to the picture rail, then along the picture rail to the front, and again along the picture rail along the front of the living room to the west side of the room, and then down the western side of the pelmet, and then back a little bit east to run down the front door frame till it gets to the bottom.
The wire was visible in a number of places, and looked horrid.
So, what Aaron did was run a similar wire to what the Foxtel Digital people had done, but under the house, with an outlet next to the Foxtel outlet, and another outlet in the living room near the power point, so I could actually have a phone in the living room (yay)!.
We then took great pleasure in ripping out the inside line that the Foxtel Digital people put in.
Yank, ping, yang, ping, yank, ping, rattle! Oh, going to have to find that later. Yank, ping, yank, yank, yank, YANK!, ping, ping, ping, That one didn't want to move. Yank, ping, yank, ping, mind the network cables, yank, ping... You get the general idea.
After that was finished (and he'd finished his cup of tea) he did a little bit of searching around to try and discover the cause of the phone issue. Eventually it was discovered that no signal is even reaching the house, so the problem is definitely at Telstra's end. We have a quick look in the pit (the pit on the foot path that houses all the interconnections of the cables before they go off and go into individual houses) and there seems to be no issues there, except...
There is an item in a pit that Telstra guys a grease bomb. It's a black canister, about the size of a stereotypical bomb. There are a lot of cables going into it, and a lot of difference cables coming out, and inside are the connections between the two lots of cables. The entire thing is filled with silicon grease to make it as water proof as possible.
Now, on the grease bomb is what Aaron calls a blame tag. It's a sticker that says who was the last person to deal with it, and when that was. This blame tag said 19th of July, which just happens to be the day I noticed the problem. Hmmm, I wonder...
It's handy have Telstra contractors as friends.
Today I ring up Telstra and inquire about my fault. Well, surprise, surprise, it seems that someone had a look at the exchange, couldn't find anything wrong, so assumed it must be my problem and not theirs, and closed the defect item.
Well, was anyone intending to tell me this?
So I get the person I was talking to to re-open it, and let them know that a friend of mine who is a Telstra contractor had a look at everything from my end, and discovered that no power is getting to the phone wires inside the house, therefore it has to be a fault at Telstra's end. I did not mention that we had a look in the pit, but I did mention that it was his opinion that the fault was in the pit.
The lady I was talking to seemed quite happy to get this information, and she added it all to the defect report, and then re-forwards my phone to my mobile (because the previous forward had been stopped when the phone problem had been "fixed").
I have been told that the phone will be fixed by close of business tomorrow. As a result, if the phone isn't working when I get home tomorrow night, I will be ringing Telstra on Wednesday and ripping someone a new asshole.
I'm glad I don't use dial-up internet anymore!